With parent teacher conferences around the bend, I’ve been thinking about all the mistakes (yikes!) I’ve made over the years. There have definitely been some awkward moments (Um… so there are 2 Liams in the same class. Which one is yours?!?). Do you need some tips for parent teacher conferences? Read on to find out what mistakes to avoid and how to have a successful parent teacher conference. After all, you are an amazing teacher and you want the parents to see that 🙂
The issue: Dry mouth
All of a sudden mid-sentence your mouth becomes like the Sahara Desert. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth and your words get all stuck together. This has happened to me after talking to a barrage of parents all in a row (Um yeah… 20 five minute conferences back to back thank-you-very-much). It has also happened when having a tough conversation about a student failing. Either way, make sure that you have plenty of water, mints or cough drops with you. You won’t regret it!
The issue : What’s my students grade?
I do my best to focus our conversation on the students successes, behaviors, and things that they can do to improve in the future. I try to paint a picture for the parents of what their student is like in my class. However there are times when a parent just wants to know the bottom line and the student’s grade in the class. I recommend either having your grade book with you or having access to the grades online with a laptop or an iPad (Let’s go green). Veteran tip– Don’t compare their son or daughter’s grade to other students in the class or the overall class average. Each student is unique and language acquisition happens at different rates!
The issue: The surprise question
You think you’ve got all your students straight and have wonderful words of wisdom prepared. Then the parent throws you a curve ball question. Don’t panic! It’s totally ok to not know everything. Don’t be like me and make up something on the spot that you later have to retract (d’oh, “forehead slap”). Instead calmly tell the parents that you’re happy to investigate and you will email or call them the following day with the correct answer. I always keep a small notebook with me that I can jot down the question and parent’s contact info for quick reference.
The issue: The hostile parent
Just like you never know what’s going on with your students outside of class, we also are not privileged to know what our parents are going through. Sadly, I’ve dealt with parents fuming about a student’s grade, angry because they’re going through divorce and want to take it out on someone, and parents who have shown up to conferences under the influence. Over the years I’ve had a few parents get really angry during our conversations and it is scary. It’s especially difficult when the student is sitting right next to the parent and they direct that anger at the student. My recommendation is before conferences begin know who to talk to in the event that a parent is inappropriate. It could be a department chair, principal, or security guard. I also recommend having your cell phone with you as a backup.
The issue: Winging it
You’ve known your students for a few months so you think you can wing it and just talk casually with the parents about how their little one has been doing in your class. But… after conference #437 your brain has turned into mush and when the mom asks how often “Mary” raises her hand in class, you can barely picture who Mary is nevertheless how often she participates. Keep reading to find out my secret recipe for success!
The key to a successful conference
A week before conferences my students fill out a self assessment survey on paper and I collect it. I ask them questions like how often do you study for Spanish class? How often have you come for extra help? Describe areas where you have been successful in Spanish.
During the conference I go through the students’ answers with the parents so that we have an idea of how their son or daughter is feeling in my class. I tell the parents whether or not I agree with their student’s self assessment. The students are surprisingly honest in their answers and I usually agree with them. The benefits of having the survey is to get the students’ own words to be a part of the conversation, to be able to indicate areas where students can improve, and to have some tangible resources for parents to encourage their students.
It has really helped me to stay on track during a conference and have concrete things to say to a parent. I know you will find the self assessment survey as helpful as I have. Please share this post on social media with all your teacher friends to spread the word!
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